Letting Go
by x3 risque
Summary: Ever since Gippal left Home, Rikku bottled up all her feelings for him and buried it in the sand. After defeating Vegnagun, she wished that she would never have to see Gippal ever again. But, there wouldn't be a story if her wish were to come true.


**Letting Go**

_**Chapter One: **Bright Side_

_Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own nothing._

_— — —_

**Tell me did you sail across the sun  
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded  
And that heaven is overrated**

**Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star  
One without a permanent scar  
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there**

—**Train : Drops Of Jupiter**

— — —

_Princess of the Al Bheds, two-time savoir of Spira, and a young adult. My life was a kaleidoscope of emotions. Escape was what I wanted. A sense of normalcy in my life was what I needed. Whether I got what I wanted or not was up to me, but at what cost? How far was I willing to run?_

_Bikanel, my homeland. It overflows with memories of childhood that cause tears to flow down my cheeks. I remember the blissful ignorance that allowed me to worry not about the world outside my sandy home. And then… there was _him.

_It was he who caught me whenever I stumbled on my own two feet, he who never refused to lend me a shoulder to lean on whenever I was too weak to stand on my own. He was the boy that acted as my sturdy shield whenever my defenses were knocked down. It hurt to see him leave like that. It hurt to hear him say that there was nothing left for him in this sandy wasteland. My love for him, it never died._

_I left my heart there, in that wasteland. I left it behind… along with my memories of him. Buried it in the ever-changing dunes of the desert I call Home._

_Stop… please don't leave…_

_Those were the four words that I just couldn't speak. The four words that could have stopped him from leaving. Sometimes I wonder how things might have turned out if I had the courage to say those little words to him. If I was set up in the same situation, given another chance, would I be able to say it?_

— — —

"A toast to Yunie and Tidus. Tidus, you better feel special! It's not every Calm that a high summoner spends two years of their life trying to bring back their loved one. But as long as you two are happy, then those were two years well spent. And now, you two are _finally_ married!" I flashed the newlyweds my signature smile as the small crowd of family and friends applauded. "What you two have… I can't even begin to describe it. You two are so lucky to have each other in your lives, never forget that, okay?" My breath hitched and I took a deep breath. I promised myself I wouldn't cry. Do. Not. Cry. "I mean, people talk about finding their soul mates, but they don't always find them, you know? But you two found the missing piece of your puzzle: each other. I'm so glad Tidus fell off our ship that day and washed up on the sands of Besaid," I grinned at them again. Part of me was jealous; I wanted what Tidus and Yuna had… "Although, I'm sure you two would have found a way to each other either way. Anyway, a toast! To the most perfect couple in Spira. Cheers!"

I've always known this day was going to come. Tidus and Yuna, they were just meant for each other, everyone knew that. But along with things you expect, there are things that take you completely by surprise and blow you away… Like a Shoopuf just farted in your face, it's unpleasant. Kind of like Tidus asking Gippal—yes, Gippal—to be his best man. When I first heard the news, I thought it was just a big joke. I fully expected someone to jump out in front of me and say, "Ha! Gotcha Rikku. Man, you should've seen your face!" But it never game. I almost cried…

Of all the people in Spira, why him?

Apparently, Gippal and Tidus had met each other at our We-Saved-All-Of-Spira-From-Destruction-Again party. Curse Vegnagun for ever existing! If he never waltzed into our world then Gippal never would've became besties with Tidus and ruined my night. So, it's all Vegnagun's fault. I must have done something in my past life to deserve this. Maybe I was a hypello murderer?

Gippal, Gippal, Gippal…

I had been able to tolerate him for a while when we were little… Two weeks is more like it. All the little Al Bhed girls found every single excuse just to be near him. I didn't see why… They were all sucked into his vortex of hotness, but I saw right through him. Sure, he might've been cute and funny, but deep down he was just a little boy looking for a nice hit and run. Sick pig…

Gippal and I, all we ever did was fight.

I would never really pay attention to him and I think that's what really bugged him. He always had to be smack dab in the middle of all the attention. Well, all the girls' attention anyway. It was like he thought he was going to get a nice big trophy for getting every girl to drool over the sand he walked on. Silly girls. I was always the girl that preferred to play in the sand and tinker with machina rather than try to impress some stupid boy.

That made things much easier for Pops. Lucky man, I'd say.

And then I had to go and grow up. As we grew older, our endless bickering turned into endless flirting. Sickeningly flirty flirting. Gag me with a dull, rusty spoon sick. I was just a stupid teenager then, you know? It was the time when my hormones were going haywire and my libido was a little less than controllable.

I call it my whore years. Of course, like any _normal_ human being, I out grew that year in my life. Yeah, I still flirted and used my _ass_ets to help me out a little here and there—what girl wouldn't, right? But Gippal, he's still living his whore years. Living it up…

While I out grew those years when I joined Yunie and her guardians on a journey to defeat Sin, Gippal embraced them when he joined the Crusaders. Of course, it didn't help that girls practically threw themselves at his feet and turning into a giggling mess when they came within a 10 feet radius of him. Ugh. I can't even begin to explain how utterly repulsed I am at the thought of those girls. I almost felt ashamed for their actions, but _I'm_ not the one practically ripping the clothes off of my body just so that he'll look at me. Shudder. Stupid Gippal.

That… that womanizer!

It's funny, really. When we were kids, we almost hated each other. Then, as we grew up, we started to like each other and we became good friends. I suppose everyone was surprised. Hell, I was surprised. When I made up my mind about someone my opinion about them would _not_ change, but Gippal was… _different. _Right now, I really, really, _really_ wish that he wasn't any different. I just want him to fade into the background so I never have to think about him ever again. Or see him. See his beautiful green eye… it never fails to make the butterflies in my stomach flutter out of control. No! Stop thinking about him…

After years of hating each other, we became inseparable. He started standing up for me and protecting me. I remember how much it would irritate me when he followed me around just to make sure I don't get myself killed. As much as it irritated me, I couldn't help but like it in some way. He actually cared about my well-being; it was… it was nice.

Silly Boy…

We grew to like each other, really like each other.

Sometimes I wonder if he missed me while he was off trying to find his purpose in life.

Silly me…

But all the doesn't matter anymore. Everything changed after he left; _I _changed after he left. I don't like him anymore…

I don't like him anymore…

I _don't_ like him anymore.

"Are you alright, Rikku— "

"**I don't like him anymore**!" Tyshed! (Damnit) I had to go all out on the dramatics and slam both hand on the table, which almost knocked my seat over. I could feel my face instantly heat up as everyone stopped their chatter and turned to look at me like I was a lunatic. It is my fault though… I mean, if I hadn't been chanting that inside my head I never would've blurted it out like that. Hmm, I take that back. It's all Gippal's fault. Yep. Where's a dark corner I can shrink into when I need one?

And then the whispering started. I never thought it possible for my sun-kissed tan could turn this shade of red. Now I know just how horrifyingly red I can turn. I can check that off my list…

Yuna stared at me with a hand on her chest, obviously shocked at my sudden outburst. But it wasn't just her that was staring at me… it was everyone. Hello world! Look at me! I'm a gigantic psychopath and I like to make big scenes at my cousin's wedding. It's great, really.

"S-Sorry… Um, carry on?" I laughed nervously as I regained my composure and sat back down. Oh man, what else could go wrong tonight? Honestly, I have never been more embarrassed in my entire life. Someone just drag me away before I say anything else to further embarrass myself. Save me from myself.

It took a while before everyone returned to what they were previously doing. I let out a sigh of relief and buried my red face in my hands. Stupid Gippal! This was all his fault…

I looked over at the other end to the long table to find the Devil Himself, otherwise known as Gippal, looking at me with an almost triumphant smirk on his face. I stuck my tongue out at him and had a sudden urge to mop the floor with his face.

We'll see who's smirking then! Self-righteous ass.

"If I talk to you again, will you scream?" Yuna, she always knew how to put a smile on my face. If she hadn't been right next to me, I think I would've died right then and there. That would make their wedding memorable… in a tragic sort of way. How sucky would that be? Happy anniversary honey! Too bad we can't fully celebrate it because Rikku died on our wedding day. Then Tidus would feel bad for making Gippal his best man.

I felt lucky to have her as my cousin. Not everyone has a cousin that has saved Spira from destruction… twice.

"Sorry 'bout that! I'm okay now. I was just thinking about something." I looked back down at my plate and started drawing a picture in the mashed potatoes.

"Don't you mean someone?" Is there something recording my thoughts? Shinra! I bet he came up with something like that. I'll kill him! No, no I'm just being paranoid now. Shinra's smart, but there's no way that he's that freakishly smart, right? No way he could make a device that could read my thoughts… It's just not possible. No. Possible. No.

"No! I mean, don't worry about it. Just enjoy your wedding." I flashed her a smiled and continued picking at my food.

I need to learn how to bite my tongue. It could save me from embarrassment, but I never was one to think before I speak. Damn my impulsiveness. Over the years, it got me into quite a bit of trouble. It's all just part of my charmingly charming charm, though. Who would I be if I lost my impulsiveness? Let's see, someone boring, BUT someone that didn't get embarrassed so much. Can't have your cake and eat it too… Which is, by the way, completely unfair. What's the point of having cake unless you can eat it? Only one thought comes to mind: smashing it in Gippal's pretty face.

Not that I think he's got a pretty face or anything… 'cause I don't.

Maybe I never really got over him. I left Home to escape him and I end up seeing him again. Never in a thousand year did I ever expect to see him again. Especially not as the leader of the Machine Faction. Gippal? Stupid, irresponsible, cocky, dim-witted Gippal? Leader? Maybe it was fate tying us together. Maybe it was just a mere coincidence. Don't wanna get my hopes up only to have topple down on me. That would really suck.

I always thought he would surround himself with more women than men. Maybe this was just a way for him to get enough money to buy a strip club? I guess it's always possible that he's gay. Maybe he's making a men's strip club… I need to stop thinking like this.

"It's time for the bride and groom to have their first dance, ya!" Wakka grinned at them. You could tell he had been crying because of the red hue that replaced the whites of his eyes. "Your first dance as man and wife." Aww, Wakka is so cute when he's emotional.

I totally expected Wakka to cry. I'm not surprised that he's crying, after all, Yuna is like a little sister to him. She's all grown up and married now. My best friends married each other, how cute.

I'd cry, too, but weddings are happy and I haven't cried in years… Okay, that's a definite lie. But I didn't do _too_ much blubbering, that would be a sign of weakness. The Rikku was raised to be strong and brave. Never a girly girl. Oh my… did I just call myself _'The Rikku'_? Seriously? I must be going crazy. Where's the wine?

"May I have this dance?" Tidus held his hand out of hers. I couldn't help but giggle at the extremely large smile on Yuna's face. Tidus could always put a smile on her face no matter what. That's what made him perfect for her. I believe that if you find someone that can always put a smile on their face, then they're a keeper. You reel that line in and keep him wrapped around your little finger.

"You may." They are just too damn cute together.

I'm so happy for both of them. They went through so much just to be together. If ever there were an award for the perfect couple, they would get it no questions asked. After what they have been through, they deserve it.

Imagine waking up to find out that you are just a dream created by the fayth to destroy Sin. I would never be able to handle that. And then he had to tell Yuna. It must have been hard for him to leave her. More than hard… I can't even begin to imagine how painful it must have been. Excruciating.

"You too, kids. Around here, the bride's maid and the best man dance with each other too, ya?" He's lying! I can tell by that smug look on his face. Maybe I can weasel my way out of this…

"I, uh, I sprained my ankle!" That's believable, right? A girl can't dance in three inch heels when her ankle is sprained.

"Aw come on, Cid's girl. We can't break the tradition." Oh, how I wished I could wipe the smile off his face.

"Yeah! Now go out there and have fun." Have fun! How can I have fun dancing with someone that I loathe? Note to self: kill Wakka after wedding and frame Gippal for it. Two birds with one stone. Now how am I going to pull it off… I'm a creative girl, I'll think of something.

He cleared his throat and held a hand out to me. "May I have this dance?" I could see a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Like I have a choice," I replied narrowing my eyes at both him and Wakka. If looks could kill, I would be under arrest for murder right about now. I heard Gippal laughing quietly and deepened my frown. Glad to know my pain is _so_ funny to him.

I let out a sigh of defeat and walked with Gippal on to the dance floor. Stupid Tidus for choosing _him_ to be the best man. If I didn't know any better I would have to say that this was all a scheme! But they wouldn't do that… would they?

Yuna! Yuna would do that. I'll have to talk to her about this later, but for now I have to think of a way to excuse myself from this dance.

What to do, what to do?

"For a girl that sprained her ankle you seem to be doin' fine," He smirked at me. His signature smirk that never failed to make me feel ridiculous. How I hated that smirk.

"Yeah, well… I don't want to trip and fall and embarrass myself." The urge to mope the floor with his face hit me again.

"Wouldn't want you to go embarrassin' yourself twice in one night," he chuckled lightly. Heat rose to my cheeks again, making me even more embarrassed. Why'd he have to go and bring that up? He probably likes to see me in pain. That inconsiderate jerk. If he could go higher on my People-I-Hate-Most list, he would've.

"You never cease to surprise me, Cid's girl." He said in a voice barely above a whisper. "And that's what I like about you. You were always good for a laugh."

Good for a laugh? Seriously? He made me sound like a child's toy! One of those building blocks that you would always fight over because you don't have enough letters to spell out the word 'poop'.

Oh for the love of… I just want to get away from here.

Maybe if I 'accidentally' break my heel then I could go off somewhere and fix it. And just my luck! There's a hole in the ground that looks deep enough to snag it on. Now, if I could just…

YES!

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. I felt myself falling and shut my eyes as I waited for my face to give the floor a nice big kiss. Bright side of this, is that, if I die, I wouldn't be embarrassed by or bothered by Gippal anymore! But, there is that whole dying at my cousin's wedding and making their anniversary a horrible reminder of my death thing.

However, it never came. Instead, my face connected with a finely chiseled body hidden behind a light green shirt black tie… Gippal?

"Cred." (Shit) As I remain in this uncomfortable position awaiting his smart ass comment, I decided to look at the bright side. My plan half worked…

"Still clumsy as always, Cid's girl," Yet again he smirked at me. One day, I will rip those pretty little lips off.

"It's not my fault there's a hole there!" I whined and folded my arms across my chest. And it really wasn't, I just got lucky.

"And it's not my fault you're accident prone," he replied poking my nose with one hand and resting the other on his hip. This is true… but on the bright side, my accident proneness helped me get away from this dance. Yeah, I'm damn sneaky like that.

"I'm leaving." I informed quietly as I took of the green shoes and began walking away.

My feet, they feel alive again! Oh my poor, numb little piggies…

"You know Cid's girl, if I didn't know that you were completely hopeless in heels, I would have to say that you broke your heel on purpose just so you could get out of dancing with me," I turned around to see him scowling at me with his arms crossed. He almost looked disappointed. Weird.

I guess he isn't as stupid as I thought he was, but I'm never going to admit that. Shinra,—if you can hear me—you better not tell him I said that! Or I will hunt you down…

"What are you trying to say, Gippal?" Slowly, I walked towards him and began batting my long eyelashes. Might as well have a little bit of fun tonight… at Gippal's expense. "Would I _ever_ do something like that to _you_?" He thought I was flirtatious back then? Well, he ain't seen nothin' yet.

I licked my lips and twirled his tie around my finger. I heard him gulp as my other hand began creeping up his shoulder. He regained is cool composure quickly, but even that short moment of uneasiness made me feel pretty damn good about myself. This was neither the time nor the place to fire all the torpedoes. Apparently, I can't escape Gippal no matter how hard I try, so, I'll give it some time and plan out how to really get into his head. Revenge is a dish best served cold, after all.

"Whatever, go fix your heel." His stare was burning a hole into my back as I slowly sashayed away from him. By the time I got through with him, his tie was loose and his hair was a mess from him running his fingers through it.

I couldn't help but smirk. With him staring at me like this, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a puddle of drool by his feet. Seconds will come in time.

If I didn't know better, I would feel pretty special, but I did know better. I knew that Gippal would ogle at a girl with big boobs and a nice ass. And if she walked the right way, you could get in drooling in a split second.

He acted like every girl was just a sex toy and I hated him for that! Women are not objects that can be used once and then discarded. No, that sounds more like a condom.

But as the old saying goes: **Boys will be boys.**

— — —

**Author's Notes:**

_It's been a long time... I completely forgot about this story until one random day I remembered it. After reading it, I thought it wasn't too shabby, but it could use some sprucing up. No one probably remembers this story. It's been a long... long... long time. But, here it it. I know I'm not the greatest writer, lol. I just do it because I get pretty damn bored sometimes. Anyway, enjoy (:_


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